the blue bowl

When I look at the blue bowl sitting on my counter I am reminded that life is short. It reminds me to love hard and fast but also to forgive quickly. I am reminded of a time when I didn't have so much to do. So many dishes to wash and clothes to fold, there is always something that needs to be done and it feels like those things cant wait until tomorrow. But what if you don't get a tomorrow? Would it really matter if the dishes didn't get washed and the laundry didn't get folded? It does matter if my kids and husband felt loved. That is what matters I don't want my kids and husband to remember me for my cleaning skills which most of the time are less than stellar. I want to be remembered for the things that do matter. Riding bikes with my kids, answering the endless questions that they ask,  talks with my husband about our hopes and dreams. So when I do look at the blue bowl on my messy counter I smile and thank God for what I do have and not worry about what I don't have.


The blue bowl was the last item my mother gave me before she passed away.

I know I am inconsistant with my blog. Does it make you not want to read it ? Maybe.  Well I did finish my p90 didnt do too well. Probably because medically speaking I really cant do most of the exercises. My foot seem to get in the way of a lot of exercise. Since I have finished that I have started swimming. Low impact seems to be good for me, plus my kids were taking lessons. I didnt just want to sit out in the hot sun and look at my phone. I am trying to get back into my exercising , but its hard. I know its another excuse. I could be exercising now. I have one foot I cut at the pool and my other seems to have an infection in it. Hoping its just an ingrown nail but its possible that its a bone infection from my foot surgery. I had my bone cut, reshaped, graphed and screwed together. Sounds gross huh? It is . I have an ugly foot lol not that feet are cute but a big long scar doesnt really give it that runway appeal.
School is starting next week so hubby and I will be back to one on one time.
No new programs yet but hopefully soon I will have something. Maybe a rower? sounds good to me now to convince the hubby its a  good idea. Until then I will be seeing you.

p90 and other stuff

Today is day 26 of round 1 p90. Sculpt was good, I upped my weights this week and feel the difference.
Tomorrow is cardio. I do most of the exercises but I cant do the yoga part because of my foot. I modify the jumping jacks and running lunges those are still too much for the foot. I do my best though and put in 110% . I also cut my hair yesterday which makes me feel better. Nothing like a good hair cut. Hard to find people to cut it right. I feel pretty with my new "do" and that is almost as important as my exercising. Mental health is important too. So I sit here typing away at my computer now, listening to the birds chirpping outside. I made myself a fresh strawberry and banana smoothie, with fat-free greek yogurt, half a banana and a about a pound of fresh strawberries. I did share with the kids before they left for school. All but one liked it. I put mine in the fridge before I left to take them to the bus stop. Got home made a fresh batch of black tea, probably make some low sugar chocolate chip cookies for the kids. They never can tell when I dont use much sugar. I have been taking them to the park everyday to play with kids and it seems to wear them out. I love to be outdoors (allergies permitting). Summer is coming soon and I wont go outdoors then. Las Vegas is way too hot to spend any length of time outside. Looking forward to being outdoors for the entire two weeks we will be in New Hampshire this summer.
Any way I have a few things to do today. Have a good day to anyone reading this.

Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.

will i ever run again?

Today I was just thinking, Will I ever be able to run again?
It feels like the answer is no. It hurts to walk, it hurts to stand for longer than 5 minutes.
My poor foot just hurts all the time. If I spend too much time on it then it swells up so big.
Right now the way it feels I dont think I would do it again. The surgery that is.
I feel 100.  Hopefully it will get better with time.

Too much of anything is no good.

I have been walking around all day today. The amount of walking I would have normally done pre-surgery. I walked in the casino which by the way too all the money in my pocket. boo hissss. I then went to Sams Club and walked all over the place.  Then  off we went to the grocery store by that time my foot and leg were screaming. I put away all the grocery I had bought then went and took my shoes off. My foot isnt swollen but my leg and ankle are HUGE. My foot is purple too. So here I sit typing away with a lovely bag of ice on my leg. Lesson learned I can walk too much. ha ha. I will spend all day tomorrow sitting on my behind with my foot up.

Aside from that adventure I am doing alright. Eating like crap again. Its hard to eat right when you have company. oye. I will be back on my diet tomorrow. Gotta FOCUS. summer is coming summer is coming

Summer and gold panning

First off lets talk about summer. We will be taking our summer trip to New Hampshire again. We all love to swim in the lake then go for an ice cream after. It was great last summer. We go to the ocean and the kids play in the water and I hold my nose because I hate the smell. I know right? Someone hates the ocean. Its never been my thing, the seaweed smell gets me everytime. gag.... Then we go to Maine and shop in Kittery, go to the trading post, go to Yummies candy store. We have lobster where I order the twin lobsters just like everyone else at the table but give my lobsters to my husband and eat his and my fries. I think this year we will do lobsters up at the camp aka Grandparents house. We will boil the lobsters and I will boil some shrimp. The kids will probably eat hotdogs (gag), because they dont like seafood. We will go see the bear show at Clarks Trading Post, we go everytime. It never gets old seeing a bear ride a scooter and play (bear-sktball). The girls would like to go to the Polar Caves instead of Lost River. Both are good. the polar caves have more spiders in them though. Perhaps we will drive over to Vermont to see Thomas Jeffersons home, then go up to Canada just for fun. The girls will practice Archery, and it will be fun.

Gold panning,
I am looking forward to trying my hand at gold panning in the great state of New Hampshire. I have never done it before but my husband and father in law have. There are lots of places to go I am sure. I think a bit more research is needed. Hubby also wants to go to the where the old homesteads were with a metal detector.

I would love to hike a bit of the appalachian trail but dont think I will be ready to do that yet but maybe I will do a little just to say I did some.

Ahhh Research research research.

more later

Foot Surgery and Wheelchair

Decemeber 16 2011 I had to have surgery to correct my foot. I had a Cheilectomy on my right foot. I thought I would be off my foot for a couple of weeks max. Turns out I have been in a wheelchair since my surgery. Its funny how you look at being in a wheelchair before you HAVE to be in one. It looks fun, you get to sit all day people have to help you. Ahhh sounds like the life right? Wrong. This is been the hardest thing I have ever had to do so far. I cant clean , cooking is a nightmare, I cant drive the list could go on and on. Its also funny how people treat you differently, I have people that wont even look me in the eye because I am in a wheelchair. The pain from the Cheilectomy wasnt that bad, but the recovery is long. Hopefully it will be worth it all. I will post an update tomorrow after my appointment. Fingers crossed that this one dr will let me start walking.

Happy Valentines Day

working on this blog

stand by

Buying wife first house

Buying wife first house

Guest post of the week by Moises Henderson

I have never been so excited to tell my wife news. I think this might beat when I proposed to her. We have been trying to buy a house for a long time, but couldn’t get approved for a loan. However, last month I was approved and purchased our first home. We are finally homeowners. When I told my wife the news, I thought she was going to faint. She immediately started decorating and going on pinterest to find new ideas. She looked into different ways to save us money, so we could pay the mortgage faster. She was able to decrease our phone bill by 15% and lower our energy costs using Shopelectricityratestexas.com/. I am so proud of her. She is so happy to be a home owner and so excited about saving us

FEET!

I have a foot issue, seems as though I have a case of arthritis in the my big toe joint on my right foot.

going to the foot doctor on Thursday hopefully I will have something to say about it. Right now I cant run on it and it gets very stiff and pops when I flex it. I cant wear heels at all. I tried to fit my foot in a heel at the shoe store but it didnt work . hurt so badly I gave up .  I dont wear heels often but stinks that I cant wear them even if I wanted to.  I will report back when I get done.


BTW wahooo three days until Breaking Dawn.

The house wife to her husband

Listen to me
and I will listen you
care about my emotions and
I will care about your physical needs
make me feel needed and
I will show you I need you too
Believe in me and
I will believe in you
Love me even though
I have always loved you.

oh please lottery let me win

So I have my next set of tickets will last me until the end of november. It stinks living in a state with no lottery. So I have to drive to California to get tickets, not like its really far but further than just going to my local gas station. I picked my usual numbers just hoping for them to get picked.
Making my weekly football bets tomorrow. NCAA, NFL ya know the works. Do I really care about football? na not really just want to win. So if I am betting on a game I am right there watching the game.
If I lose my bet I would turn off the tv but my husband likes to actually watch them even without betting on them.  We also like to bet on the horse races when we are at the sports book. Those are fun to watch, I love horses. The other day I bet on one that was like 42/2 and wouldnt ya know it He won. I about came out of my seat. lol. it was pretty funny. I then bet on a trifecta (sp?) all was going swimmingly then this big black horse came out of no where and one with my three in the order I picked but behind him . So I lost. maybe next time I will throw out a banana peel so he slips and wont mess up my bet. I would have won 128 dollars for my 2 dollar bet. oh well. Thats why they call it gambling. I have a bingo tournament coming up too. I love bingo. I sit there right along with the old ladies. Love every minute of it too. My hubby doesnt like to chat in bingo, so I talk to him anyway. lol.
So along with the bets I also have work to do tomorrow. Have to get ready for the garage sale, gonna sell off a bunch of my stuff, including my beautiful fake tree. I decided that I would like a real tree this year. Allergies be Damned I will have something real in my house. I can hardly wait to have the scent of the woods in my home. I may live in the sand but for Christmas I will pretend to live somewhere I actually like. I wasnt cut out to be a desert dweller. I use to get cold all the time but after the hysterectomy years ago I am hot as hell and living in hell just makes this horrible.

So those are my complaints and hopes
recap
hate nevada
wants to win money to move out of this hot ass place.

so enjoy the small things while you can, dream big because everyone needs a dream.
and love, tell people you love them everyday, the last thing you want to live with is regrets. we dont always get a tomorrow so make today count.

finding a job in Las Vegas

I swear I will just give up. Finding a job here thats not flipping burgers is impossible. I have hours I can and cannot work. I want to move away from here. The crossing guard here told me that the unemployment rate has gone up to 18 percent. While that seems high, its probably right. Companies are not hiring. Mom's that havent gone to work in ages cant get jobs because they dont have recent experience. Nothing like a kick in the teeth, you stay at home to take care of your kids and get penalized for that. Crime seems higher, not surprised about that either. Thought about going to school but I dont want to start a nursing program before I move. Hopefully we will move to where its quiet, and my kids can play outside. Probably could find a job easier. I have heard people say that they find jobs once they leave Las Vegas, hope that is true for me. That or I win the lottery. I have my numbers picked an waiting for them to come up. Until then. I guess I will remain a unemployed house wife, which my husband assures me is easier than "real " work.  I would love him to try this out. Our kids would eat him alive.
Oh well time to eat some more bon bons..

later

Combatting my seasonal allergies

Guest post written by Beth Ann Dwyer

There are so many things to think about when it comes to dealing with my fall allergies. For one thing, I like to switch my eye makeup because it seems like I'm constantly rubbing my eyes when it comes to allergies. I'm kind of bad about doing that anyway, so I need some eyeliner and mascara that stays put rather than just making a raccoon eye mess when I'm dealing with allergies.

I thought that this time around I would try and find a new brand of waterproof eye makeup. I looked online with my wireless internet Raleigh to find some good suggestions for waterproof mascara, especially. I came up with a few and decided to go and test them out at a beauty counter to see what I thought of them.

getting a job in las vegas

No I am not on welfare,  or social security. I am not a vet. I am a normal mother of four. I have been a stay at home mom on and off for 14 years. My husband God bless him wants me to get a job. He works very hard at a thankless job. He is my hero but that's not what this is about. He wants me to get a "mick" job. Is that what I want?  No! I want something that I am not ashamed to admit I work there. In this day its not something that you want to admit,  Hey I work at McDonalds flipping burgers. I dont want to work in fast food, I dont want to work at a gas station. I dont even want to work at a bank. I am 33 years old and I would like to think I have made it further in life. So where do I want to work? Somewhere I can use my creativity and have an opinion. I was going to work for this online company but during my third interview I was asked if I was going to be available 24 hours a day. No of course I am not, I have children whom are not going to spend their lives being cared for by someone else. I dont trust people enough with my kids. Too many bad guys out there that want to hurt people. I have a certain number of hours to work, 8am to 5pm and thats it. My kids do matter to me a great deal, their education matters to me. I want them to be the best and be great members to this crazy ass society.  I know reading this it sounds like I dont want a job, your right I dont. I do want to be better off financially. I want to give my kids more, I want my husband to be able to go and buy things he likes. I have given my life to my kids and family. I have been mommy for 14 years, some say I lost me. I didnt lose me I just reinvented the old me. How do parents do it? How do you balance family and work. How do you work for a place that you dont believe in? I guess I could write a book or two.
I have had a very interesting life. I think the things I have to say is interesting. Are you interested? Do you want to know more about me?  who knows. 
I have dreams. I see shapes in the clouds. I sing in my car out of tune and humm the words I dont know. I like to talk to my husband and kids about what would I do if we had millions of dollars.
Even with tons of money I dont want a lot of shiney flashy things. a nice house in the woods with lots of land to grow a garden on.
I need a job, because I just cant seem to win the lottery. 
have a nice day.

sticky note for later

A blank. every have so many things in your head that they cant make it on paper? 
Thats me today. I need to work on putting thoughts on paper as the day goes on so I dont forget.
i'll try to write more later.

for my husband

I was in the dark, I didnt know how to find my way until you turned on the light in my heart, and I found my way to you. 
Still after 10 years of marriage that light still shines so bright for you.

How could you

this is really bugging me. I cant believe that the cold hearted wretch got away with murder.
Casey Anthony, you are a vile human being. To the jury how could you find that evil woman not guilty.
All of America saw the trial , we all saw the same as you jurors did. We were all screaming GUILTY, while you said NOT GUILTY. What a blow to the stomach, hearing that verdict I could have died.
That poor little girl wont get justice. I can only imagine what that poor girl was thinking in her final hours of her life. Why did my mommy do this. This woman no cant call her a woman "this THING" should be sterilized. People who kill their children or any children should have their right to be a parent taken away.  I am so sad for this little girl.  I guess the comfort I get is knowing that God will take care of her punishment. 

RIP Caylee

Sin City Fireworks

So we went out last night to watch fireworks. We sat on the edge of the back road behind the M Resort.
Several people parked behind us. Kind of made me mad that some of the people dont have enough common sense to turn off their headlights. I mean they were shining right in my car. Anyway so while we sat in our car with a perfect view of Las Vegas and Henderson, we watched all the illegal fireworks being launched. 9:00 was the firework time. Finally after what seemed like an eternity waiting the fireworks started launching. Right away I was sad, the fireworks being launched off the M were totally lame. Didnt even look like fireworks, they looked like someone firing off a ton of flares. I wish we had gone to Green Valley Ranch to watch because we could see those in the distance and they were nothing short of amazing.  Earlier in the day we had talked about driving to Colorado to see fireworks, yea we are that crazy to drive 12 hours to see fireworks over a lake. We have seen them there many years and they are always fantastic. If we werent taking a long vacation in a week then we would have gone. Next year I hope that a fireworks road trip will be in the cards.  If not then I will take my family and we will watch over at the Station Casinos.  We did launch our own LEGAL fireworks at the house and they were okay. Nothing like I remember as a kid. but I wouldnt let my kids hold roman candles like I did, or light bottle rockets. But I would let them hold a sparkler. The sparklers that we got the kids were funny. They lasted at best 15 seconds, Lame. We will try again next year though with better ones. all in all the kids had a great time and so did I but only because I was with them and enjoying life.

OMG totally restarting on my blog

ok  I have been gone for way too long from my poor little blog. Summer is almost here and the heat outdoors had made its presents known. I have been going to the gym a lot lately. I gained all the weight back that I lost on EA sports active more workouts. but now I am working it off again. I am still using my GoWear Fit but not using it like I should be. I also have been doing South Beach again. and have lost six pounds in six days.. not bad.
at the gym I have been mostly riding the bike but sometimes, the treadmill, sometimes the elliptical, and rarely the stairclimber (which I should say was created by satan) . Tonight I am starting again on my EA Sports Active More Workouts but this time in combination with gym, and south beach... praying for success. I so miss my old body and the old me. I am in here somewhere I am sure...

I will post my measuments (current and restarting) tonight. maybe I will post what I was three years ago (yep I have measurement from then I have them back from when I was prego with my first daughter and she is nine now. lol...
so ta ta for now... I will be back lol